Not another kidnapping
by Skoellya Seyth
Summary: Just another kidnapping of the former boy wonder, heir of Wayne enterprises, fast food addict and erstwhile punmaker, Dick Grayson. Enjoy!


**I discovered a depressing fact about Christmas today- on Christmas- you know the Red Santa image? That's a product of Coca Cola's advertising! I'm serious! Ahh… what a commercialised world we live in… anyway, to cheer myself up I decided to finish writing something upbeat so… here goes!**

**Aaaaand I nearly forgot the disclaimer. I did for my last one… D'oh! **

Dick woke up with his head pounding at the back of his skull. It took him to register for a moment he was in a windowless room, cuffed.

Oh, well… that was just great.

Kidnapped.

How he disliked the term.

This had got to be the fiftieth time he'd been held for ransom as _himself _or at least civilian identity, he didn't even want to count the number of times he had been a hostage as Robin… sigh… Bruce would be coming but like hell was he going to stay here and wait.

He frowned for a moment. How did they get him here? Oh… probably drugged his food at the takeout, man, he needed a taster or something. It wasn't too long ago either… he could still taste the curry in his mouth. They should know by now that every single attempt at this had failed but nooooo… they still had to think they could blackmail the billionaire. It didn't even occur to them that almost every time this happened Batman got involved.

Jeez… he needed to stop getting himself into these situations. No one had even bothered to check on him yet. These were freaking amateurs. Easily removing the handcuffs he inspected the lock on the door. Oh come on, it wasn't even electronic. He was wondering whether to kip again for another few minutes 'til Bruce was closer but then he realised if they'd botched things this badly already he'd probably be quite easy to find, maybe even before the demands were released. He sighed again and quickly picked the lock, knocked out the two thugs on guard and wondered down the hallway, whistling.

Now… find the ring leader… knock him out… get back home and watch cartoons with Tim and probably be yelled at by Barbara for playing the theme to danger mouse over the comm. She could be scary sometimes. Far more than he ever let Bruce scare him.

He quickly took in his surroundings with a critical eye. He was in an old factory by the looks of it. Couldn't these people do _anything_ original? Sheesh. It wasn't much to ask. And they only got him because he liked take out too much…

He yawned slightly and scratched his head as he looked around. No guards in sight. Come _on_… he thought irritated, _what's a former boy wonder to do?_

_Ah ha! It's a Classic_.

He almost laughed in bemused glee as he saw a dim light come through an office door and shadows moving behind it with low, rumbling, accented voices speaking.

'our demands are eighty million dollars to be pla…' Dick shook his head and knocked on the door.

'What? Mick go away, we're making the recording in here.' They hadn't even made the tape to issue demands yet… oh man… Dick would be embarrassed to admit he had been kidnapped by such incompetent people. Sighing, he swung the door open took down the two henchman down with two swift punches and settled down to wait for his lift back to the manor and finish off the packet of Doritos he'd just spotted.

And they had chips… this might not be such a bad night after all. Good cuisine…

Batman arrived at the hideout barely five minutes later to find all his son's captors bound and gagged whilst Dick himself had raided their kitchen. He rolled his eyes as he had been offered something that might have resembled a type of meat in a bap before sternly taking the offending meal and throwing it in a perfect arch into a dustbin.

'Batman…' Dick whined slightly before under a strict glare he shuffled, mumbling, towards the Bat-mobile. He glared at Batman as the vigilante climbed into the driver's seat.

'No takeout.' The Dark Knight growled in his most commanding voice.

'But it was buy one get one free,' His surrogate son whined, defending himself.

Batman raised an eyebrow and spoke in stoic disbelief as he revved the engines. 'You're the heir to a billion dollar company.'

Dick shrugged '…and?'

Bruce shook his head in disbelief.

**A piece of light entertainment I wrote a while back, I hope you like! Part spoof really. Merry Christmas, (or seasons greetings) I hope everyone is having a good time. It'd be nice to let me know what you thought.**


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